‘Marriages are made in heaven’. This is a popular saying. We believe once we get married it’s going to stay forever. It’s a very debatable topic of whether you should stay in a marriage that’s bruised with fights and lack of physical intimacy or detach yourself like a loose thread. Whether you should fight against the storm or succumb to its power. Whether you should consult a relationship counselor or take your own decision based on your personal instincts against your spouse.
These very topics bring us to the many factors that lead to a marriage failure. Communication gap, inability to give much time to your spouse or in general, difference of opinion between the couple can decay the relationship over time and ultimately lead to one question: Whether to reminisce the wedding vows or say goodbye.
Finding the cause
It is a known fact that 50% of American weddings end in divorce. It’s a matter of analysis that the ratio of successful marriage to failed marriage is even more critically lower in couples who are in their 40’s and 50’s. One of the reasons is Menopause, the phase where women suffer lots of physical ailments like hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, erratic and emotional turmoil, night sweats and inability to cope with their emotions in order to respond to the circumstances! The outcome? Husbands are the recipients of their irritated behavior. Menopause and marriage sit on two ends of a very thin rope that’s made stronger with mutual understanding.
Men often find this phase irrational and discomforting. The hormonal shifts cause the women to become short tempered and suffer from mood swings. But they are also not so open to discuss their personal changes to their husbands. They find it hard to be intimate and do not respond well to physical closeness! Life after menopause is marred with increasing weight and inability to gain libido.
These factors are hard for men to understand and they find their spouses irritating and incompatible. Menopause and sex are two scenarios that run poles apart from each other. They often resort to physical satisfaction outside marriage and this results in extra-marital affairs. Women feel more dejected as their self-esteem hits rock-bottom. Her relationship stands on the loose thread of menopause and marriage.
Ways to Resolve this Situation
Women should open up to their husbands and discuss about the discomfort they are feeling. They should be okay with not being physically intimate with their husbands. The couple should together work upon building a strong and happy relationship. They can go on outings, have dinner dates, spend time doing recreational activities together and just hear each other out. Husbands should be patient with their wifes. If she behaves differently or gets angry on little things they should understand that they are not the reason for their anger. It’s just a hormonal thing. Social situations like anniversaries or birthdays of children can be a challenge if the woman gets irritated on guests or shuts down the party entirely because she doesn't feel like playing the host. Husbands should make others understand that it’s not her fault and handle the situation like a gentleman. He should take his wife’s side otherwise she might feel more irritated.
Ultimately it’s your choice
Menopause can be tough as it comes at a time when you are sending off your children to college, taking care of your elderly parents or looking after an ailing husband. You just need to remember that like every phase this too shall pass away.
Remember the time when you just got married and started a new life? You had to make many adjustments! Or the time when you had your first child? You were worried like hell but you did it anyway right?
Similarly this phase will be easier if the couples plan on staying together in tough times, communicate their innermost fear and understand each other’s doubts and dread.
The big life changes that women undergo can be full-on experiences – working in women’s health for 38 years as a midwife, coach and trainer have taught me that!
Puberty, pregnancy and perimenopause are significant transitions in a woman’s life and have a big impact on the individual and those around her.
Yet far from acknowledging the implications for women’s health, everyone just pretends that nothing is happening.Read more
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Though marriage in general is viewed as a gateway to progeny and worldly existence, the institution of marriage has a deeper and spiritual aspect to it.
The Vedas have demarcated four main stages in the life journey of an individual – Baalya (Infancy and childhood), Koumara (in the current parlance, Teenage), Grahasthya (Family life) and Vaardhakya (Old age).
Being such a vital cog in the wheel of life, marriage astrology has been given prominent place in the course of life and rightfully so.
Hence, it is customary for parents of the eligible brides and grooms to match horoscope for marriage.
Since the two individuals concerned will be bound in life for life, it is only but natural to know about the planetary positions and their impact on their joint life.
Astrology helps in identifying the bright and low points of an individual based on the placement and movement of the heavenly stars through an analytical reading of their birth chart.
To be happy in a marriage or a relationship, not a thing that anyone can promise but keep trying to satisfy each other need and focus on the good things will make your relationship a happy relationship.
If you are looking for the answer to how to have a happy marriage or a relationship then there is no definite way but yes there are some actions that a couple should take care off for a happy marriage.
If you are a working man or woman and when you are coming home from the work then put down your phone or turn off the TV, and find out what’s going on in each other's life.
Numerous young couples work various hours of the day from one another, making it hard for them to be at home simultaneously.
So the best thing you can do prioritizes the demands and spend time with your family with your spouse.
Many marriages could be saved if spouses developed the ways they communicate with each other.
