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I do not want to have a child!

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Archie Heron
I do not want to have a child!

I am thirty-three years old, have a great job and a husband who loves me. It seems to everyone that the only thing missing in my life is a child... and me? I enjoy life, I am happy and I feel that there is no room in my world for anyone else! Is that bad...?

Almost every day I hear the sacramental question: When are you going to have a new family? Then I smile ambiguously and say that just a little longer and I would like to shout: What do you care, and besides, I don't want children! Unfortunately, our society does not tolerate childless families. One immediately hears whispers: that "they certainly can't, but they could adopt after all!"

And then the discussion begins about how to love an adopted child as if it were your own... after all, the lives of these two childless people must pass in daily anguish over the lack of offspring and plans for where to get such a little one.

Rubbish...

I look at my husband every day and know that he is the whole world to me. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Our days are spent caring for each other and we are just happy. I once tried to tell a friend that I was not going to have children. They looked at me strangely and I quickly turned it into a joke. Not many people can understand that... I am a selfish person.

The whole cycle of the day is subordinated to my needs. In the morning, a jog, fresh bread rolls and coffee, then a quick shower, make-up and I'm off to work. After work, massage, sauna, beautician. Another quick coffee with a friend and I'm back in the warm, cosy and spotlessly clean house. Then a romantic dinner with my husband, a movie and a night - sometimes intoxicating, but always calm and soothing.

Do you see any room for dirty nappies, bottles and getting up at night to see the baby? Sure, everything can be changed and reconciled, but you have to want it. My husband...? He loves me and is happy with me. He tells me that he would do anything for me... sometimes I see him in the street looking at... no, not at young girls, but at small, cute, snotty children.

I see him indiscriminately enjoying, once a year, at Christmas, playing with his brother's children who visit our "perfect" nest... and what? I ask him then, to clear his troubled conscience: - Darling and would you like to have children? - You are my baby - he answers every year, with less and less conviction.

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Archie Heron
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