The powerful tools you need to consider for negotiation and conflict resolution are empathy, sympathy, and fairness. You should never underestimate the value of each factor. It’s better to consider terminology around your understanding of the requirements and feelings of the other party and listen actively for negotiations to offer more positive results in the future.
Sympathy is when you have feelings of sorrow or pity for the misfortune of someone else. You might be wondering whether sympathy will work for or against you during negotiation or addressing conflict resolution. If both parties share information about dealing with a difficult situation, it will create a more mutually beneficial agreement.
Sharing the hidden requirements
There is at least one interest behind every position. Interests give you ideas for a solution. If any interest is vulnerable or a constraint and is shared, it often leads to a better result. When you face a difficult situation where you can’t simply meet budget, quantity, or similar constraints provided by the other side, you are better to share this information with them. However, also share your emotion with them regarding this situation. Think about how will address them. Share how you feel that you cannot make your commitment.
Emotion, fairness, and rational issues with pay hikes
People who present justifications rationally, don’t do as well as people presenting appeals emotionally. It makes more sense. Generally, we are 98% emotional and 2% rational. Hostage negotiators are very aware of this fact and capitalize on it during their negotiations. Most executives apply this concept in their work also. Fairness matters too, but emotions make the biggest difference.
For example, when employees asked for raises, and the range was between 0%-6% recommended by supervisors a study was conducted to see who received how much in terms of raises. Employees fell into three overall categories addressing the emotional, rational, and fair arguments to supervisors.
Emotional Appeal –
For example – My father is suffering from a terminal illness and struggling to pay hospital bills.
Fairness Appeal –
For example – Employees with similar records to mine have received hikes recently in the last month.
Rational Appeal –
For example – I have overseen the success of some profitable deals over the rating period.
So, the emotional appeals are considered to be the most successful; the fairness appeal is the next, and the rational appeal results in the least percentage raise by the supervisors.
Clearly, emotions are key.
How Does Power Influence Emotional Decisions?
When a power player is involved, an emotional appeal will be received negatively and will be thought to be manipulative. But when a non-power player presents similar facts related to sympathy, empathy, or fairness, its impact would be helpful to him. If there is any concession made to the power player based on emotional appeal, it may impact negatively the relationship between both parties moving forward.
Revealing vulnerability and handling difficult situations from a counterpart with relatively little power can trigger sympathy in the negotiation and help in the conflict resolution process. As a result, both parties behave more collaboratively and generously.
The situation requires you to consider two cautions:
- Apply these results cautiously. You should never overlook rational arguments.
- Never embellish, exaggerate, or manufacture facts to create empathy, sympathy, or fairness as it will jeopardize the reputation as an honest negotiator.
Significance of actively listening
If a person is listened to properly, they are more apt to listen to you. You have to practice active listening. When you listen actively, you should suspend judgment and you should not provide any advice. By listening actively and working with other parties to understand, and explore more facts, issues, feelings, and emotions behind the issues as well as the interests it may be possible to negotiate a much better result. Interests are the key to a solution.
Bottom Line –
Consider working with a qualified mediator as a facilitator to help you with a negotiation or with conflict resolution. Do your research and find the right professional to help you out.
Author Information –
Mike Gregory is a professional speaker, author, and mediator with years of experience and expertise in handling negotiation and conflict resolution.
