logo
logo
Sign in
Sumit Jioson
Followers 0 Following 0
Sumit Jioson 2021-10-27
img

In our most recent discussion with participants online, andwemet pondered the question— “Why are we afraid of getting into new relationships?”Now, the common consensus was that the fear of getting into new relationships stems from unpleasant experiences in the past, be it lost trust, being gaslit, or perhaps even just falling out of love.

The most important thing to remember in these cases however, is that this feeling is normal and that you are not alone.Speakers in the sessions shared their personal experiences wherein incidents from their past deterred them from trying to find someone new in their 30s.

Factors such as trust issues, impatience, intellectual compatibility, loss of freedom and even the loss of your sense of self all played a part in giving rise to doubt and insecurities.

This train of thought sometimes even leads people to give up on the idea of marriage altogether.So, the question remains, how should we deal with these fears?Recognising that this fear exists would be step one.

Unless you’re able to come to terms with the fact that there is something holding you back there isn’t much you can do to tackle it.Next, try to understand why you are being faced by these thoughts.

It is also important at this stage to set up an open line of communication with any potential partner before pressuring yourself into a relationship.Lastly, understand that no relationship is perfect no matter how well matched the two individuals are.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-09-22
img

Nitin and Mina’s daughter Priya just turned 27.

Priya was celebrating her second birthday staying home thanks to the pandemic.

After receiving birthday wishes, the next sentence asked by all who were wishing her included the following sentencesYou are 27 years, what plans for marriageAre you dating or in a relationship?Have you signed on any Indian dating appYour parents must be looking for a boy for youAha you are 27, when are we being invited to your marriageWhile Priya was open to meeting someone, she was open to signing up on an online matchmaking service but she could not understand why all her family and her friends asked about her plans to get married.

She could understand the family’s concern or curiousness, but found it odd when her friends asking the same because she had never asked them ever their plans to marry, and she had single friends in both their mid to late 20s and early to mid 30s.

Priya could not understand the obsession around the fact around marriage and it is not that she did not believe in it, she very much did and wanted to marry.A little bit about Priya, her parents lived in a city which had finest schools and colleges and she worked hard to study in them.

She got a job in another city but was working from home since last 2 years  because of pandemic, but with things opening up, she was going to move to the new city soon and was super excited about the fact.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-07-23
img

Kavya asked her parents to find a partner for her.

She had her share of fun and casual relationships and was not keen to get in a serious relationship.

She was also keen to find an Indian as a partner, it did not matter to her if he was a citizen or not, but she wanted him to be living and working in the US.Kavya was born and brought up in America, she was 30 years old and had been visiting India every year since she was 2.

She was OK with a long-distance relationship to start with but was sure that her future partner should be working and living in America.Kavya did sign up on dating apps as Hinge, Coffee with Bagel which gave her access to men from all ethnicities which was great but not for her as she knew about her filter criteria so  these dating apps became a bit of a chore when it came to looking for what she wanted.

She also signed up on Shaadi a legacy Indian matrimonial site but did not enjoy the sign-up process, so she reached out to her mother to do a search for her.Her mother agreed and said she would spread the word around among family and friends to suggest prospect matches if they knew of any, but also started going online to look out for new Indian dating sites, sites that cater to Indians 30 and above in the hope to find something.

In her search, the mother came across andwemet – her curiosity made her sign in.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-10-26
img

In our most recent discussion with participants online, andwemet pondered the question— “Why are we afraid of getting into new relationships?”Now, the common consensus was that the fear of getting into new relationships stems from unpleasant experiences in the past, be it lost trust, being gaslit, or perhaps even just falling out of love.

The most important thing to remember in these cases however, is that this feeling is normal and that you are not alone.Speakers in the sessions shared their personal experiences wherein incidents from their past deterred them from trying to find someone new in their 30s.

Factors such as trust issues, impatience, intellectual compatibility, loss of freedom and even the loss of your sense of self all played a part in giving rise to doubt and insecurities.

This train of thought sometimes even leads people to give up on the idea of marriage altogether.So, the question remains, how should we deal with these fears?Recognising that this fear exists would be step one.

Unless you’re able to come to terms with the fact that there is something holding you back there isn’t much you can do to tackle it.Next, try to understand why you are being faced by these thoughts.

It is also important at this stage to set up an open line of communication with any potential partner before pressuring yourself into a relationship.Lastly, understand that no relationship is perfect no matter how well matched the two individuals are.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-09-20
img

Nitin and Mina’s daughter Priya just turned 27.

Priya was celebrating her second birthday staying home thanks to the pandemic.

After receiving birthday wishes, the next sentence asked by all who were wishing her included the following sentencesYou are 27 years, what plans for marriageAre you dating or in a relationship?Have you signed on any Indian dating appYour parents must be looking for a boy for youAha you are 27, when are we being invited to your marriageWhile Priya was open to meeting someone, she was open to signing up on an online matchmaking service but she could not understand why all her family and her friends asked about her plans to get married.

She could understand the family’s concern or curiousness, but found it odd when her friends asking the same because she had never asked them ever their plans to marry, and she had single friends in both their mid to late 20s and early to mid 30s.

Priya could not understand the obsession around the fact around marriage and it is not that she did not believe in it, she very much did and wanted to marry.A little bit about Priya, her parents lived in a city which had finest schools and colleges and she worked hard to study in them.

She got a job in another city but was working from home since last 2 years  because of pandemic, but with things opening up, she was going to move to the new city soon and was super excited about the fact.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-07-16
img

However due to pandemic she was not sure how to go about given all outlet to offline socialisation was risky.She knew she had to sign up on an online dating service but was not sure about the available matrimonial sites.

Kriya knew she wanted to be in a committed relationship, a serious relationship but was not sure if there are any Indian dating services that would cater to those 30 years and above.

Making sure she is does not only depend only on online sites, she reached out to friends to help her introduce to new prospect matches.Her friends said they will look out and asked Kriya on her expectations from a relationship, if she was fine meeting someone who was married before and if she wanted to continue living in Delhi the city she was living in.

She swiped and decided to reach out to a profile each from the listed apps and started chatting with them via text.

It so happened that Kriya got caught in work so could not get back to the apps, but she was fine with the two connects Rahul and Abhay is what they called themselves, she wanted to invest her time in knowing them.

She started chatting regularly and was enjoying doing so and after a week recommended a video call.She fixed one time slot with Rahul and one with Abhay – she was hoping her search for finding a life partner would end – and that she could get into a relationship with one of them.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-10-13
img

Sheetal’s father’s business was thriving, her sister announced her second pregnancy, her brother was going to an Ivy League school to do his MBA, his visa had come through.

For someone outside it appeared all was perfect in the Kapoor household, however that was not the case.

Everybody in the house was stressing out as Sheetal was going to turn 32 years old and was still single and there was no sight of prospect partner in sight.Sheetal’s sister, a doctor, 5 years older than her got married at 27.

Sheetal’s sister founder her life partner on an Indian online dating service and had to go through a lot of opposition from her family as the man she chose was not from the same caste and her family was very particular about that.

Despite opposition Sheetal’s sister got married to the man of her choice and today they were expecting their second child.

Not only this the family had accepted the Sheetal’s sister’s husband and family but they had still not warmed on the fact that the couple met online.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-08-31
img

It can be a difficult situation to escape and the victim might instead find themself excusing the behavior and making adjustments to accommodate the abusers behavior.

So here are some questions to ask yourself if you think something is a miss:Find that your partner is allowed to express anger but you are not?Find that you have been slowly isolated from friends and family, people who care about you?Find that your partner always finds fault with friends and family?Find that your partner often puts you down and/ or blames you for their problems or holds you responsible for others’ mistakes?Find that your partner insults you but then says they’re joking?Feel apprehensive or anxious often?

Especially around them?Find yourself letting go of things or hobbies that once made you happy?Feel unsupported in achieving your own career or life goals?Find yourself doing things a particular way to keep the peace, no matter the physical cost to you?Find that your partner shames you or constantly compares you with others?Find yourself always walking on eggshells, trying to avoid a comment or outburst from your partner?Feel like you have no control over your own life?

If you’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these questions, it's time to do some introspection.

However, if you do not observe any improvement, it is best to consider making changes to your situation in a way so as to prevent pain and grief for yourself, and perhaps others such as children in case they are involved too.

It is very easy to believe your partner will make changes, they might lie about it as well.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-07-01
img

 Aunt (mother’s sister) : you are 28 , soon going to be 30 and single.Anita: yes aunty I am 28 and am single and it will take me 2 more years or 24 months to turn 30.

Mommy and you got married when you were 20 years and were managing home and children by 23, here I am 28 and yes though I am ready for a committed relationship I still am finding what I want to do in life.

My issue is where or which Indian dating site do I sign up on because all the ones that are available is full of those who catfish and fake profiles and the discussion is more around physical traits.Aunt : so what are you looking for, what does your bucket list read like.Anita : I will love to share it with you as long as there will be no judgements or you going all hyper and binding me under the garb of tradition which I think is poor and deep societal conditioning.Aunt (rolls her eyes, breathes heavily) : sure, tell me, I am all ears.Anita: before I share my bucket list, I want to ask your views about me.

Hold on, why are you asking me these questions?

You know I am extremely fond of you and in fact you are also my go to person when I have something to.

How is it associated with our main topic of you getting in a serious relationship?Anita: Aunty all what I have asked you is leading up to me getting into a discussion around me being in a committed relationship.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-10-12
img

Sheetal’s father’s business was thriving, her sister announced her second pregnancy, her brother was going to an Ivy League school to do his MBA, his visa had come through.

For someone outside it appeared all was perfect in the Kapoor household, however that was not the case.

Everybody in the house was stressing out as Sheetal was going to turn 32 years old and was still single and there was no sight of prospect partner in sight.Sheetal’s sister, a doctor, 5 years older than her got married at 27.

Sheetal’s sister founder her life partner on an Indian online dating service and had to go through a lot of opposition from her family as the man she chose was not from the same caste and her family was very particular about that.

Despite opposition Sheetal’s sister got married to the man of her choice and today they were expecting their second child.

Not only this the family had accepted the Sheetal’s sister’s husband and family but they had still not warmed on the fact that the couple met online.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-08-23
img

It can be a difficult situation to escape and the victim might instead find themself excusing the behavior and making adjustments to accommodate the abusers behavior.

So here are some questions to ask yourself if you think something is a miss:Find that your partner is allowed to express anger but you are not?Find that you have been slowly isolated from friends and family, people who care about you?Find that your partner always finds fault with friends and family?Find that your partner often puts you down and/ or blames you for their problems or holds you responsible for others’ mistakes?Find that your partner insults you but then says they’re joking?Feel apprehensive or anxious often?

Especially around them?Find yourself letting go of things or hobbies that once made you happy?Feel unsupported in achieving your own career or life goals?Find yourself doing things a particular way to keep the peace, no matter the physical cost to you?Find that your partner shames you or constantly compares you with others?Find yourself always walking on eggshells, trying to avoid a comment or outburst from your partner?Feel like you have no control over your own life?

If you’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these questions, it's time to do some introspection.

However, if you do not observe any improvement, it is best to consider making changes to your situation in a way so as to prevent pain and grief for yourself, and perhaps others such as children in case they are involved too.

It is very easy to believe your partner will make changes, they might lie about it as well.

collect
0
Sumit Jioson 2021-10-27
img

In our most recent discussion with participants online, andwemet pondered the question— “Why are we afraid of getting into new relationships?”Now, the common consensus was that the fear of getting into new relationships stems from unpleasant experiences in the past, be it lost trust, being gaslit, or perhaps even just falling out of love.

The most important thing to remember in these cases however, is that this feeling is normal and that you are not alone.Speakers in the sessions shared their personal experiences wherein incidents from their past deterred them from trying to find someone new in their 30s.

Factors such as trust issues, impatience, intellectual compatibility, loss of freedom and even the loss of your sense of self all played a part in giving rise to doubt and insecurities.

This train of thought sometimes even leads people to give up on the idea of marriage altogether.So, the question remains, how should we deal with these fears?Recognising that this fear exists would be step one.

Unless you’re able to come to terms with the fact that there is something holding you back there isn’t much you can do to tackle it.Next, try to understand why you are being faced by these thoughts.

It is also important at this stage to set up an open line of communication with any potential partner before pressuring yourself into a relationship.Lastly, understand that no relationship is perfect no matter how well matched the two individuals are.

Sumit Jioson 2021-10-13
img

Sheetal’s father’s business was thriving, her sister announced her second pregnancy, her brother was going to an Ivy League school to do his MBA, his visa had come through.

For someone outside it appeared all was perfect in the Kapoor household, however that was not the case.

Everybody in the house was stressing out as Sheetal was going to turn 32 years old and was still single and there was no sight of prospect partner in sight.Sheetal’s sister, a doctor, 5 years older than her got married at 27.

Sheetal’s sister founder her life partner on an Indian online dating service and had to go through a lot of opposition from her family as the man she chose was not from the same caste and her family was very particular about that.

Despite opposition Sheetal’s sister got married to the man of her choice and today they were expecting their second child.

Not only this the family had accepted the Sheetal’s sister’s husband and family but they had still not warmed on the fact that the couple met online.

Sumit Jioson 2021-09-22
img

Nitin and Mina’s daughter Priya just turned 27.

Priya was celebrating her second birthday staying home thanks to the pandemic.

After receiving birthday wishes, the next sentence asked by all who were wishing her included the following sentencesYou are 27 years, what plans for marriageAre you dating or in a relationship?Have you signed on any Indian dating appYour parents must be looking for a boy for youAha you are 27, when are we being invited to your marriageWhile Priya was open to meeting someone, she was open to signing up on an online matchmaking service but she could not understand why all her family and her friends asked about her plans to get married.

She could understand the family’s concern or curiousness, but found it odd when her friends asking the same because she had never asked them ever their plans to marry, and she had single friends in both their mid to late 20s and early to mid 30s.

Priya could not understand the obsession around the fact around marriage and it is not that she did not believe in it, she very much did and wanted to marry.A little bit about Priya, her parents lived in a city which had finest schools and colleges and she worked hard to study in them.

She got a job in another city but was working from home since last 2 years  because of pandemic, but with things opening up, she was going to move to the new city soon and was super excited about the fact.

Sumit Jioson 2021-08-31
img

It can be a difficult situation to escape and the victim might instead find themself excusing the behavior and making adjustments to accommodate the abusers behavior.

So here are some questions to ask yourself if you think something is a miss:Find that your partner is allowed to express anger but you are not?Find that you have been slowly isolated from friends and family, people who care about you?Find that your partner always finds fault with friends and family?Find that your partner often puts you down and/ or blames you for their problems or holds you responsible for others’ mistakes?Find that your partner insults you but then says they’re joking?Feel apprehensive or anxious often?

Especially around them?Find yourself letting go of things or hobbies that once made you happy?Feel unsupported in achieving your own career or life goals?Find yourself doing things a particular way to keep the peace, no matter the physical cost to you?Find that your partner shames you or constantly compares you with others?Find yourself always walking on eggshells, trying to avoid a comment or outburst from your partner?Feel like you have no control over your own life?

If you’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these questions, it's time to do some introspection.

However, if you do not observe any improvement, it is best to consider making changes to your situation in a way so as to prevent pain and grief for yourself, and perhaps others such as children in case they are involved too.

It is very easy to believe your partner will make changes, they might lie about it as well.

Sumit Jioson 2021-07-23
img

Kavya asked her parents to find a partner for her.

She had her share of fun and casual relationships and was not keen to get in a serious relationship.

She was also keen to find an Indian as a partner, it did not matter to her if he was a citizen or not, but she wanted him to be living and working in the US.Kavya was born and brought up in America, she was 30 years old and had been visiting India every year since she was 2.

She was OK with a long-distance relationship to start with but was sure that her future partner should be working and living in America.Kavya did sign up on dating apps as Hinge, Coffee with Bagel which gave her access to men from all ethnicities which was great but not for her as she knew about her filter criteria so  these dating apps became a bit of a chore when it came to looking for what she wanted.

She also signed up on Shaadi a legacy Indian matrimonial site but did not enjoy the sign-up process, so she reached out to her mother to do a search for her.Her mother agreed and said she would spread the word around among family and friends to suggest prospect matches if they knew of any, but also started going online to look out for new Indian dating sites, sites that cater to Indians 30 and above in the hope to find something.

In her search, the mother came across andwemet – her curiosity made her sign in.

Sumit Jioson 2021-07-01
img

 Aunt (mother’s sister) : you are 28 , soon going to be 30 and single.Anita: yes aunty I am 28 and am single and it will take me 2 more years or 24 months to turn 30.

Mommy and you got married when you were 20 years and were managing home and children by 23, here I am 28 and yes though I am ready for a committed relationship I still am finding what I want to do in life.

My issue is where or which Indian dating site do I sign up on because all the ones that are available is full of those who catfish and fake profiles and the discussion is more around physical traits.Aunt : so what are you looking for, what does your bucket list read like.Anita : I will love to share it with you as long as there will be no judgements or you going all hyper and binding me under the garb of tradition which I think is poor and deep societal conditioning.Aunt (rolls her eyes, breathes heavily) : sure, tell me, I am all ears.Anita: before I share my bucket list, I want to ask your views about me.

Hold on, why are you asking me these questions?

You know I am extremely fond of you and in fact you are also my go to person when I have something to.

How is it associated with our main topic of you getting in a serious relationship?Anita: Aunty all what I have asked you is leading up to me getting into a discussion around me being in a committed relationship.

Sumit Jioson 2021-10-26
img

In our most recent discussion with participants online, andwemet pondered the question— “Why are we afraid of getting into new relationships?”Now, the common consensus was that the fear of getting into new relationships stems from unpleasant experiences in the past, be it lost trust, being gaslit, or perhaps even just falling out of love.

The most important thing to remember in these cases however, is that this feeling is normal and that you are not alone.Speakers in the sessions shared their personal experiences wherein incidents from their past deterred them from trying to find someone new in their 30s.

Factors such as trust issues, impatience, intellectual compatibility, loss of freedom and even the loss of your sense of self all played a part in giving rise to doubt and insecurities.

This train of thought sometimes even leads people to give up on the idea of marriage altogether.So, the question remains, how should we deal with these fears?Recognising that this fear exists would be step one.

Unless you’re able to come to terms with the fact that there is something holding you back there isn’t much you can do to tackle it.Next, try to understand why you are being faced by these thoughts.

It is also important at this stage to set up an open line of communication with any potential partner before pressuring yourself into a relationship.Lastly, understand that no relationship is perfect no matter how well matched the two individuals are.

Sumit Jioson 2021-10-12
img

Sheetal’s father’s business was thriving, her sister announced her second pregnancy, her brother was going to an Ivy League school to do his MBA, his visa had come through.

For someone outside it appeared all was perfect in the Kapoor household, however that was not the case.

Everybody in the house was stressing out as Sheetal was going to turn 32 years old and was still single and there was no sight of prospect partner in sight.Sheetal’s sister, a doctor, 5 years older than her got married at 27.

Sheetal’s sister founder her life partner on an Indian online dating service and had to go through a lot of opposition from her family as the man she chose was not from the same caste and her family was very particular about that.

Despite opposition Sheetal’s sister got married to the man of her choice and today they were expecting their second child.

Not only this the family had accepted the Sheetal’s sister’s husband and family but they had still not warmed on the fact that the couple met online.

Sumit Jioson 2021-09-20
img

Nitin and Mina’s daughter Priya just turned 27.

Priya was celebrating her second birthday staying home thanks to the pandemic.

After receiving birthday wishes, the next sentence asked by all who were wishing her included the following sentencesYou are 27 years, what plans for marriageAre you dating or in a relationship?Have you signed on any Indian dating appYour parents must be looking for a boy for youAha you are 27, when are we being invited to your marriageWhile Priya was open to meeting someone, she was open to signing up on an online matchmaking service but she could not understand why all her family and her friends asked about her plans to get married.

She could understand the family’s concern or curiousness, but found it odd when her friends asking the same because she had never asked them ever their plans to marry, and she had single friends in both their mid to late 20s and early to mid 30s.

Priya could not understand the obsession around the fact around marriage and it is not that she did not believe in it, she very much did and wanted to marry.A little bit about Priya, her parents lived in a city which had finest schools and colleges and she worked hard to study in them.

She got a job in another city but was working from home since last 2 years  because of pandemic, but with things opening up, she was going to move to the new city soon and was super excited about the fact.

Sumit Jioson 2021-08-23
img

It can be a difficult situation to escape and the victim might instead find themself excusing the behavior and making adjustments to accommodate the abusers behavior.

So here are some questions to ask yourself if you think something is a miss:Find that your partner is allowed to express anger but you are not?Find that you have been slowly isolated from friends and family, people who care about you?Find that your partner always finds fault with friends and family?Find that your partner often puts you down and/ or blames you for their problems or holds you responsible for others’ mistakes?Find that your partner insults you but then says they’re joking?Feel apprehensive or anxious often?

Especially around them?Find yourself letting go of things or hobbies that once made you happy?Feel unsupported in achieving your own career or life goals?Find yourself doing things a particular way to keep the peace, no matter the physical cost to you?Find that your partner shames you or constantly compares you with others?Find yourself always walking on eggshells, trying to avoid a comment or outburst from your partner?Feel like you have no control over your own life?

If you’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these questions, it's time to do some introspection.

However, if you do not observe any improvement, it is best to consider making changes to your situation in a way so as to prevent pain and grief for yourself, and perhaps others such as children in case they are involved too.

It is very easy to believe your partner will make changes, they might lie about it as well.

Sumit Jioson 2021-07-16
img

However due to pandemic she was not sure how to go about given all outlet to offline socialisation was risky.She knew she had to sign up on an online dating service but was not sure about the available matrimonial sites.

Kriya knew she wanted to be in a committed relationship, a serious relationship but was not sure if there are any Indian dating services that would cater to those 30 years and above.

Making sure she is does not only depend only on online sites, she reached out to friends to help her introduce to new prospect matches.Her friends said they will look out and asked Kriya on her expectations from a relationship, if she was fine meeting someone who was married before and if she wanted to continue living in Delhi the city she was living in.

She swiped and decided to reach out to a profile each from the listed apps and started chatting with them via text.

It so happened that Kriya got caught in work so could not get back to the apps, but she was fine with the two connects Rahul and Abhay is what they called themselves, she wanted to invest her time in knowing them.

She started chatting regularly and was enjoying doing so and after a week recommended a video call.She fixed one time slot with Rahul and one with Abhay – she was hoping her search for finding a life partner would end – and that she could get into a relationship with one of them.