Marriage in Ancient China

The ceremony of getting married in every culture was celebrated extremely solemnly and exceptionally. Preparations usually took a very long time and were preceded by parents' efforts to choose the best possible candidate for a wife for their son.

Family in ancient China was governed by two principles: the superiority of the older generation over the younger generation and the superiority of men over women, with the first of these principles being more important. So the great-grandmother always had priority over her grandson.

However, the fate of young women was not enviable. Before the wedding they should show boundless obedience to their parents, after the wedding - to their husband's parents. Every marriage was arranged and all friendships that young women could make with men were considered reprehensible and condemned. A girl could not be seen before marrying any man, even in a completely innocent situation, because it could damage her reputation and make her unwilling to be married.

If two young people fell in love with each other, this was the main reason why the families of both of them wouldn't allow marriage, because they thought they wouldn't obey their parents' will in the future, but would want to follow their own opinion.

The ceremony of getting married in every culture was celebrated extremely solemnly and exceptionally. The preparations usually took a very long time and were preceded by the parents' efforts to choose the best possible candidate for a wife for their son.

It was customary for future brides to have no right to decide about themselves and their duty was to obey the will of their father. An example is ancient China full of exotic mysteries and oriental beauty.

In ancient China, every marriage was arranged by parents, so there was no concept of pre-marriage courtship. Everything was carefully planned. First, the parents of the future groom hired a matchmaker to find a suitable bride. The choice of a candidate for a wife was determined, among other things, by the compatibility of horoscopes of the future bride and groom. If everything suited the parents, the wedding contract was concluded.

The girl's parents set their conditions for the customary "buyout" of the bride and groom's house. The matchmaker had to mediate until both parties agreed on the value of the gifts, because the bride's parents could demand too many gifts. The gifts could be money, clothes or jewelry. On the day of the wedding, the future wife sat in the "Chair of the Bride" where she was taken out. As is customary, a girl should have a veil on her face and show hesitation when entering the chair. The bride and groom's house welcomed her with loud music, it was then that the young people saw each other for the first time.

The marriage ceremony itself was extremely simple. The young people bowed in front of the portraits or plaques with the names of the bridegroom's ancestors, as well as in front of his parents, and that was enough to make them marry. Then there was a solemn wedding breakfast with numerous guests. At the end, the bride and groom would go to their marriage chamber to consume the marriage.

The married woman was at the mercy of her mother-in-law. Both ladies could become friends for the rest of their lives or their mother-in-law could turn their daughter-in-law's life into hell. A married woman's first duty was to have sons. If she couldn't meet this, her husband had the right to divorce her and if he was rich, he had the right to take a concubine. A man should be loyal to his parents above all. Love for his wife was in second place.

If a young woman gave birth to sons, her status in society changed - in the future she was to become a mother-in-law for other women.

Women were always tied to the house that they had a duty to take care of, while matters relating to the outside world were the domain of men.

One of the most cruel customs to subjugate women and tie them to the house was to tie their feet. This custom appeared at the court of the Song Dynasty, but in the Han era it quickly spread throughout Chinese society. It was not only practiced by ethnic minorities, the Mongols and the Mandjeshim. The restraining consisted of tightly bandaging the feet of already five-year-old girls, so tight that the bones of the conquest gradually broke and the fingers rolled to the bottom.

This was practiced continuously day and night, until the feet stopped growing. It was extremely painful, and the feet were only 7 cm long, making it difficult for women to walk and practically impossible to run. In turn they were highly appreciated by matchmakers. They were poetically called "Golden Lilies" and were considered to be an extremely attractive attribute of female beauty.

The practice of restraining feet can be partly explained by male sexual fetishism, but its aim was to prevent women from playing an active role in society. Thus, the role of women in ancient China was unenviable.